So here’s the thing, I have had to face some realities about myself through the processes of completing my first book. I became introspective and acknowledged many ways in which I have gone wrong. For the purpose of this post, I have ignored friends and allowed their friendships to dispense from my life; I had not feeling toward this. Since this realization I have become interested in being there for my friends and reuniting with friends from the past. My post “Reunion” was an invitation to begin that as well.
Trouble is I have a soft spot for the old times. I have thought to reunite with people who have done horrible and evil things in their lives. I want to ignore the bad things they have done and grow with them. Statistically, they will continue to be evil, but what about the 1/100 who will not continue to be bad. I fully expect that I will risk this because of the memories I have with them when we were much younger.
Here is the rub: if I accept them where am I to turn down anyone who needs help. It is my wish to help anyone who needs help to the best of my ability. I have come into contact with people, who have rumored stories with similarities to the friends of the past whom I desire to give my all to and I hate to give much value to rumors, who need help. I have attempted to reach out to them and be helpful to them. I want to push to benefit them, but I worry their benefit will be a drain from my efforts toward people who have not shown negative elements of human beings as well as the people whom I have turned away from in the past.
The trouble with sentimentality is that I may be working toward the assistance of others at the detriment of ones who have not scorched the earth as I pay penance for dismissing others to grow myself. The best one can do is continue to work toward each other and help in any way possible.